I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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