Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
