i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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