If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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