covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
