I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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