I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We had sex on a dog bed..
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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