Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
