and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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