How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
