Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize