You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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