Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
