So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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