oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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