My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
