so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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