I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
