I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
