Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
they need to just BURY HIM!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
