i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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