Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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