In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
