and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
