pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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