normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
