we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
