Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
