This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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