I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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