who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Randomize
