Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
