i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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