My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
