and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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