just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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