what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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