it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
