Whod you bang
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
