There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
