Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
that is very illegal...i love you.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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