god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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