So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
