so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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