He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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