There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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