I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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