Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
