Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
