just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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